Well ACSMB fans, it’s that time of year again…my 2nd favorite holiday next to Christmas, Halloween! I thought maybe I’d dress up as a MacPro and go trick-or-treating. But, then I realized I could build my own costume for 1/2 the price and have way more time to go out scamming for treats.

Lol – I guess that’s a piss poor analogy…kind of like the Mac is a piss poor computer! But hey, it’s halloween – and to celebrate this wonderful day I’m actually not going to pick on Apple. Instead, I’ve found these nifty pictures that the Apple junkies among you may enjoy. Consider this my gift to you, Macazoids!

You know, I looked around a little bit – but I couldnt find any pictures of someone so enamoured with their Dell that they had to carve a pumpkin in honor of their computer. That certainly is a testament to the passion you Apple folks feel toward your machines, and I can respect that.

So have a happy halloween ACSMB fans…and get ready for a November full of of Apple-hatin’ good times!

Well, after submitting all the necessary crap, here’s what I received in response:

Your Blog Was Not Approved For Our Network
This message is to inform you that we have carefully reviewed your blog:

Apple Can Suck My Balls
http://apple.cansuckmyballs.com

Your blog did not meet our strict quality criteria.

Therefore, your blog has not been approved for use in our network.

Please do not take this decision personally. We have decided to only approve the highest quality blogs for our network.

Please remove the BlogRush code from your blog’s pages.

Our Quality Guidelines and criteria are listed within our Terms Of Service agreement: http://www.blogrush.com/terms

If you improve the quality of your blog, and you feel that it then meets our strict criteria, you can try and resubmit your blog for review after 30 days — anytime on or after this date:

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Thank you for your interest in BlogRush.

Best Regards,

The BlogRush Team

Awwww….what was it? That great big ‘Balls’ word I have in the banner? Or maybe that I’m spitting anti-Apple Haterade like a perpetual fountain of electronic authenticity? Do balls make you nervous BlogRush? Does the mere mention of that part of the male anatomy cause you to shiver in your wal-mart discount shoes? Or maybe the words ‘Balls’ and ‘Apple’ in the same sentance remind you of a adolescent fantasy gone horribly awry? Because you’ve rejected me BlogRush, I guess I’ll never know.

Ah, Im just kidding Blogrush…but you still suck ass.

May the ashes of your pathetic internet startup darken the skies of the blogosphere with a weight that is only matched by the gravity of your failure.

The phrase ‘Get a Mac’ is often coined by Apple Zealots trying to impose their delusional perception of uniqueness and artistic panache on some unassuming user of another platform. It’s another testament to their blind willingness to follow Apple’s arrogance straight into the land of conformity through copious amounts of self gratification.

What I dont understand is, why they do not suffix this demand with at least a trace of credability. Can you explain why I should ‘Get a Mac’? Does a Mac offer any benefits over my current computer? Can you describe in a brief paragraph or two, why spending an exhorbitant amount on mediocre PC hardware would make me so special?

Can a ‘Mac Genius’ help provide some intelligent answers, or are you just going to read off a list of potential responses to customer inquieries? Every time I walk by the Apple Store, all I can think about is that old sci-fi movie, THX-1138. Remember that one? Where everyone looks the same, acts the same, and the whole underground city is painted a conspicuously mac-like white? They arent kidding when they say artists predict the future, kids:

Look! Mac users in the Apple Store!!

Ah, Apple. You vex me so. May the backlash against your corporate tyranny destroy the very fabric from which you were made.

Then I got to thinking, Apple freaks are probably buying up granola by the truckload.  What else are you dorks eating while you stand in line for days, waiting for your overpriced piece of crap iPhones and glorified MP3 players? Just look at this bullshit:

It’s one of the most laughable sights of my generation – non-conformists nonconforming the point of conformity, embracing a corporation that sucks them dry with unessential consumer electronics products. Marry wristed roues flocking together like so much human cattle, snacking on granola and driving up the price of this nutritious treat for everyone else. Follow your corporate false idol over the edge of a touch sensitive cliff jacknuts, just choose a snack more fitting for your lemming brained, vacuous selves.

Leave my granola alone.