Just like native Eskimos have many different words to describe snow, I think that my language should have many different ways to describe how much Apple Sucks.

What’s funny is, I know a few hundred people visit this site everyday,and many of you are mac fans. Does this offend you? Does it? Well guess what, fuck you and your stupid, crappy, lame, overpriced piece of shit computers.

And your 3G iPhone too, you freakin’ wankers!

Anyway, without much further adieu, here’s our first word:

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Sapendogphil – \SAH-pendog-PHIL\, noun
A macfreak who is sexually attracted to canines and Dr.Phil, but only on Wednesdays; A dog screwing, Dr.Phil watching mac user who waits in line for every new piece of crap Apple pukes out of Cupertino.

“Oh geez, its Wednesday and that sapendogphil is at it again. Poor kid, when will he learn that lusting after dogs and watching Dr.Phil on his Macbook just isnt cool”

“Oh my god!! What are you doing to the dog?? Why is Dr.Phil on TV??? You make me sick you sapendogphil!!! Im getting a divorce!”

“You see that sapendogphil over there? Watching dog porn at Starbucks on his mac…I guarantee there’s a Dr.Phil self-help book in his breifcase”

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Keep the words coming people!! ACSMB is going to put out a dictionary by the end of summer…we’ll get this stuff into Webster’s and then its free ACSMB T-shirts for everyone!!

Doesn’t that piss you off? Not only that you’re friends with such a nerd, but that Apple would deface such a great movie by stealing the tagline and applying their own nauseating schtick to it?

Well, now you can fight back!

Introducing, the ACSMB.com Leopard release party t-shirts!

Check it freaks:

Awwww yea! Now that’s some style right there. Click the shirt to go right to the ACSMB store!!

Which brings me to my next topic:

Ah yes, it had to come…Leopard gets released, we have a new T-shirt…it’s time for a contest!! Yes!!
Get your pic taken with one of those shirts on, and send it to us via email:

Do something crazy! Trick or treating, standing on your head, whateva…let your hate for Apple guide you on your photographic quest. Best 5 will get reviewed by our panel and will get featured on the site!!

First person to send a pic of them with an ACSMB shirt on IN AN APPLE STORE gets $25.00. No foolin! (so you get the shirt for free + money for coffee:)) That would be so damn funny, it’s worth way more…but hey it’s not like I’m Apple and have a ton of money from charging people
$170 $129 for what should be a free OS upgrade

You can buy one of these luscious puppies in there:

(Or you can download that one for free, throw some rubber cement on it and slap it on your car – spread the faith people!)

Hey – now that I’ve opened an Apple Can Suck My Balls store – does that make me an Apple Can Suck My Balls Genius? Does anyone think its a bit audacious that a company demands their store reps be called ‘geniuses’?

I have to go to grocery shopping tonight – I wonder if the butcher will look at me wierd if I ask to speak with the ‘Meat Genius’. Or maybe the ‘Cheese Slicin’ Genius’. Oh damn I gotta get going…I forgot to take the trash out and Im gonna miss the Garbage Genius…brb…