Awww SHIT. Is this thing on?

If it’s a microphone connected to a MacBook Pro, probably fucking not. And whyy?? Why wouldn’t it be on, children?


YES. From the dark corner of an internet that used to be cool, I. Have. Returned. I doubt anyone is even still here. I doubt anyone even reads blogs anymore. Because you’re all on bullshit like FaceHugger squinting into your little ‘Retina’ displays with your high end super thin piece of modern bullshit. AKA. The MacBooK Pro.

You know what’s funny, my little Mac Loving Jerk Faces? You know what sweet, sweet irony life has dished out to your favorite-until-now-forgotten blogger? I am sure you are as curious to know as I am excited to tell you. It hurts to type this but…

I now use a MacBooK Pro every day. It’s true. Yes, it’s true. And no, not because i changed my mind about your little crapcake sandwich of a computer company. I have to use one for work. I am, perforce, now using this calamity of computer evolution, and indeed it is much to my chagrin.

And after two years of it, I had to have an outlet. My daily hell could go on in silence no longer. I hate that fucking computer so bad it’s like acid in my mouth, and no not the good kind.

Every time that hunk of crap pisses me off, I’m going to create new content for this blog. So I might be here every day. Hell I might be here every damn minute! I might just post whenever the hell I feel like it with wreckless, apple hatin’ abandon.

Well, anyway, enough of that shit for now. I’ve got to get some sleep. I’m 10 years older and have that much less tolerance for life’s steaming pile of bullshit.

Aka My Macbook Pro.

Apple Lies

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