A Holiday Wish

Here’s a little yuletide rambling for the fans, and for you mac sucking little Apple freakazoids that get all giddy whenever one of those annoying ass commercials starring this douchebag comes on TV:

Justin Long - Apple loving douchebag

Actually, I shouldn’t be so trite. I haven’t met Justin Long in person, and who knows maybe he’s a heck of a guy. But, he sold his soul to the Cupertino Conglomerate, which automatically justifies his douchebaggery. So without much further ado:


Ah, that felt better. Now, on to my little rhyme:

Fuck you Apple loving freaks of Planet Earth
Your mother has hated you since the dawn of your birth
You like shiny white plastic and mortgaging your spleen
to afford a computer and 10 jars of Vaseline
Smear it all over that iMac
Get that iPhone ready for love
You can suck my balls Apple Community
But be sure to handle them with kid gloves
Apple Can Suck My Balls
And You’re All Fucking Lame
Apple Just Bent You All Over
So Smile, Here Comes the Shame!


APple sucks

2 Responses to “A Holiday Wish”

  1. You let John Hodgman off easy, who by your definition is also a douchebag.

    And your infantile poem says more about you than it does about Mac fans.

  2. Come on now Brett! I know it made you chuckle. Maybe just a little :)