MacWorld, and Apple, Doomed!

Ah my little macobytes, a greater feeling of warmth has never been felt by your favorite blogger. A more intense feeling of satisfication and righteous indignation has never been reveled in so much as now. Why, you ask?


Apple pulls out of MacWorld, thats why suckers!!!

Hahahahahah!! Muhahahahahaha!! Bwahaahaha!!

It’s over mac freaks! No more waiting in line lusting for whatever pathetic shiny plastic crap will be unveiled at the keynote. No more blogging about what Apple might have waiting in the wings. No more staying up late at night while your girlfriend is sleeping so you can crank one out to the latest spy photos of the next gen iPod. What is a mac-loving turtleneck wearing apple slut to do?

Personally, I dont know. The only thing that makes me slightly sad about this whole thing is that there will be a little less about the Apple community that I can pick on. You know, pictures like this one:


Losers gawking at a worthless gadget

LOL. Cracks me up every time!! F R E A K S!

Oh well turdwranglers – I’m off for now. But do me a favor – when you cry like pathetic babies over the demise of this POS company, save your tears and send them to me.

I’m going to distill out all wussiness and make an extract that I can take whenever I feel like being an emotional pansy ass. Which is never, so I’ll just sell it back to you on Ebay for a profit.

21 Responses to “MacWorld, and Apple, Doomed!”

  1. Interesting spin.

    I agree that MacWorld Expo may be doomed, but only in your hate-filled irrational mind does this indicate that Apple the company in danger.

    That Apple no longer needs to exhibit at an annual consumer convention is an indication of success not failure!

    Apple will continue to roll out products and host media events on their own schedule. And with hundreds of highly-trafficked retail stores plus a popular website, they have no trouble reaching the public.

    But go ahead and celebrate. It’s certainly no worse than the behavior you accuse your straw-man Mac zealots of.

  2. Brett,

    Once again you bring the voice of reason to my inane lair of delerium! I would wager that Apple’s pulling out of MacWorld has more to do with the upcoming retirement of their CEO, and their inability to deliver anything remotely close to Steve Jobs’ charismatic act on stage.

    I can smell Apple’s fear, and it smells like bar-b-q sauce. No doubt, soon they will release a brand of snacks with much fanfare – something to feed their lemmings as they hurtle from the cliffs of technological tomfoolery.

  3. MACsAREforDouCHebags on January 7th, 2009 at 5:06 pm

    Hey MACfrEAks, the euphemism (that means “saying”) “more money than brains” was coined (that means “created in a literary context”) a long time ago, but its meaning is still fresh in the Apple/Mac village. Note: I say “village” NOT “community” or “society” because there isn’t as many of you MacDickheads as you think there are. I’ve worked a long time for one of the USA’s largest technical service provider networks; providing in-home warranty repair service to owners of both Mac and PC products. As evidence of the “Apple is superior” myth, I offer my tool list requirements to do just the most very basic of repair such as replacing the hard drive in both PC and MAC. as follows PC: screwdriver…MAC: screwdriver,Torx-bit screwdriver, non-marring pry tool, plastic access key, suction-cup screen removal tool (NOT found in the kitchen utensil isle)…NOT TO MENTION 3 times the labor hours at double-time I might add simply because listening to your androgynous little bastard children rant “Am I gonna lose all my itunes?”,”Dont lose my itunes OR I’ll beMAD”, every five minutes while your wife eerily stares at my crotch like she’s never seen a MAN with a package before ‘cuz she’s married to a douchebag..MR.Mom..”Dad,can u get me some waaaaater?”,”suuure son..as soon as I get the BLUebeRRy MufFinS out of the oven”..I’m baking ‘cuz my wife has the higher earning potential..blah..blah..”Backup my data? no!, why!, I have an iMAC dammit, I shouldn’t HAVEtO!”..”Is that recovery thingy gonna take away my PROGRAMS?”..(Well Sir,,,your iMAC was completely inoperable when I got here and now it IS working..not to mention your recovery disc1 was already in the drive and you probably erased your data already following your “4″ page “MAC owners manual” plus, when you took it to the MACstore they DIDN’t offer to back-up your data??? AND the warranty company also DIDN’T mention aaaaanything about losing files when a hard drive is replaced???…REAlly?..so..yes..in douchebag terminology..your files are gone!!..enjoy your iMAC, please sign here by the X,Oh, one last thing,…can you get your wife off of my leg so I can go home and eat my dinner and give myself a low voltage shock treatment to erase the image of your sappy look of disdain from my mind so I can go to sleep and do it all over again tomorrow ?…”OK,I will sign , but I’m going to file a comPlAiNt”)…gets a little tiring after invariably the same type of “OMG don’t get fingerprints on it” attitude day after day. So, MACfrEAks, my sappy douchebag buddies, YOU are the new MacVILLAGE idiots…P.S with all that “superior” MAC computing power and potential…why are you just reading forums and jerkin’ off?????????

  4. Hostile, are we?

    I wonder how many people, after reading your rant, would even want you to service their computers (let alone allow you in their homes).

    And, if you’re such a great technician, why don’t you fix your keyboard? Some of the keys appear to be stuck.

    Maybe you should consider a different line of work where you don’t have to interact with people — or machines.

  5. MACsAREforDouCHebags on January 10th, 2009 at 5:49 pm

    Brett, My points (some of which may have been missed by some as soon as I said the word “crotch”) are: 1) every computer breaks eventually.. 2) Dealing with that issue is exacerbated when the owner has wrongly been brainwashed into thinking nothing bad will ever happen to his/her computer because somehow it is “superior” 3) In my experience, Mac owners, who bought and paid way too much for a machine they will only surf and check email with, exhibit a higher level of arrogance due to #2. Higher levels of disposable income and stupidity are not mutually exclusive. Let’s just say for a very short moment, for the sake of argument, That Apple makes better products than anything else on the market. Ok, if you are the owner of one of those products does it serve your interests better to: a) keep it to yourself and enjoy your secret? b) Flaunt it in everybody’s face like an ignorant child? Or c) try to be a decent human being and help the less fortunate come to your understanding? Obviously, fanboy rants, some call them testimonials, are posted all over the net. Most gravitate to the (b) category and, that position simply does no owner of any apple product any good, hence, my position that “MACsAREforDouCHebags”. My opinions are based on exactly half of what I read and 100% of real-world repair tech experience. Personally, my first “personal computer” was an Apple II+, $1200.00 almost 30 years ago and it had about as much memory as a good calculator does today. It was my last apple computer but I bought it when differences were as major as “do you want your computer to display COLOR”? I’ve never looked back.…

  6. And what does this any of this have to do with the topic of the demise of MacWorld and Apple?

  7. MACsAREforDouCHebags on January 13th, 2009 at 4:04 pm

    Simple, without MacWorld and Apple those people with serious character flaws will have to find something else to be a douchebag over like: wine, cheese or beating their boyfriends…Seriously, the name of this website is “apple.cansuckmyballs.com”?!?!!? and you have a problem with MY post? I would think YOUR responses are the ones that don’t really fit…no offense… If you must know, however, I re-posted here mostly because it was a newer thread than “long hiatus” and I wanted as many people to read it as possible. See, I’m not REALLY craZY!

  8. Dear MACsAREforDouCHebags,

    You are my hero. Thank you.

    -Admin :D

  9. DeusExMachina on May 9th, 2009 at 7:10 pm

    i suck man titties

  10. Forgive me, I know it’s not my website or anything, but I really want to rant for a sec about apple.

    Apple – In my opinion, one of the most evil and deceptive companies ever. Here’s why: Here is this guy who ‘starts’ a company [read: steals ideas and pays off the lawsuits like with XEROX]. He almost immediately becomes so arrogant that nobody in his company is allowed to acknowledge his presence when he walks through his ‘kingdom.’ In Apple’s new employee training at their HQ offices, they specifically tell you not to approach Mr. Jobs for any reason whatsoever. Not even to say ‘Hi’. Evidently, he is untouchable in his genius. The entire company is truly a VERY effective marketing company, conning people into purchasing their overpriced equipment in mass quantity. Not overpriced, you say? Get this: For a comparable (speaking of performance) MacBook to my wife’s windows-based machine, it costs an average of $1,400 dollars more!!! more than double the price for the same performance!! Now all Apple lovers will be saying “Wait a minute! Mac OS X runs a ton faster than Windows, so you get a lot more than with a non-mac computer.” Wrong. OS X is little more than a screwed up, junk-filled, proprietary Unix system. It is. Now, load up your favorite distro of Linux (the still pure version of what OS X claims to be), and you’ll obliterate a Mac without trying. You’ll run into the issue of software compatibility, but since you own a Mac you’re evidently well-versed in lack of software and accept that, right?

    Now for the issue of being ‘different’ by owning a Mac. Mac’s stock has generally been skyrocketing lately, suggesting a very strong TREND. Trend?! That isn’t Mac at all… right? Mac is DIFFERENT!! Mac is grassroots, indie, young and hip!! Now picture in your mind an indie music-type riding his fixed-gear commuter bike to the coffee garden in cut-off jeans, Fidel Castro hat, Che Guevara shirt, Coldplay blaring in his iPod, toting his MacBook in his Chrome-brand army messenger bag, looking like he’s straight out of the Russian industrial revolution, swerving around in front of your car while he dreams up his next installation art project. You’re smiling right now, because you’ve all seen these types EVERYWHERE. They’re not being different. They’re being trendy. How can you be different when EVERYONE around you is doing the same thing?? They’re little whiny trendoids, living off mommy and daddy warbucks’ trust fund. Parasites.

    Macs aren’t really that much more stable than Windows machines, either. I can and do crash Macs at school ALL THE TIME. It’s really easy, and if you’ll let me see your Mac for 20 seconds, I’ll show you how to do it.

    But Macs are virus-free, right? HA!! Wrong wrong wrong. Ever heard of rape.osx? Inqtana.A? Leap.A? Melissa.W? Init.M? I could take up your entire day with the thousands, literally THOUSANDS of viruses that attack Macs. but Apple keeps perpetuating this false sense of security for its minions. Like this quote from one self-proclaiming ‘expert’ on a Mac forum on June 6th of this year:
    “Although there are some Trojan malware out there for Mac OS X (relatively rare), there are no known viruses.” Just another sheep, blindly following its turtleneck-toting leader. It’s kinda sad, really.

    Now for the pervasive issue of Mac being better for graphics work. WRONG!! They used to be in the late ’80s because they really were ahead of the pack, while the PC world was busy in the ‘IBM-clone wars’ for a few years, and wasting valuable time. But now, it’s actually the other way around. Why did Adobe, the bed-buddy of Mac for decades, not even produce large portions of Creative Suite 3 for Mac? Because it was 1) incredibly hard for programmers to get the full functionality of it for OS 9 and X, and 2) they just didn’t perform as well as on a Windows box. It wasn’t worth the effort. Some of you are doubting still. Ok, go and run a process test with Adobe illustrator CS2, 3 or 4. Windows-based machines can work MUCH faster. That’s really important now, since everything is going vector-based because of how versatile and efficient it is.

    Same goes for video editing. Btw, iMovie is NOT an editor, it’s crap. Everyone seems to use Final Cut Pro for post-production and claims it to be the future of editing. Nope. It has borrowed SO heavily from the dinosaur, Avid, and the rest seems to come from Adobe Premiere. To move ahead, why copy from the old standard you are trying to pass up? Oh, but its keyboard shortcuts save so much time! Sure they do. So do the keyboard shortcuts in EVERY OTHER EDITOR OUT THERE. But FCP’s audio control is the best ever, right? Sony Vegas Pro (Windows) can edit full 5.1 surround in real time, from within the same editor’s timeline, using VST effects and an effect-chaining system. No Apple product can claim that.

    And the iPod. Astronomically successful, full of hard drive issues. The warranty return percentage on these is astonishing.

    Apple is a good marketing machine. A great marketing machine. I’ll give them that. Their products are really pretty. They are great at fooling you into thinking you’re doing something cool and different by owning one. But they’re wrong. They’re just a marketing company that happens to sell overpriced computers. And we fall for it. Why?

    Demand better. Demand honest pricing and less media hype. Give them a wedgie. Build a Hackint0sh and stick it to all the trust-fund riding hipsters out there that paid 3x more for lower performance. And be sure to tease Steve Jobs on his overuse of the black turtleneck.

  11. @ El Dusto

    You lost me when you wrote:

    “Here is this guy who ’starts’ a company [read: steals ideas and pays off the lawsuits like with XEROX].”

    Prior to releasing the Lisa and Mac, Apple had already compensated Xerox with Apple stock. All Xerox did was allow Apple engineers to visit.

    Xerox didn’t file a lawsuit until it looked like Apple might be able to successfully sue Microsoft for stealing the Mac UI. The two situations are quite different.

    Windows look and feel was almost a direct copy of the Mac, while just about all Apple borrowed from the Xerox was the use of bitmapped graphics and a mouse. Xerox didn’t represent files with icons, use a trash can for deletion, or have overlapping windows. However, Microsoft as a Macintosh app developer, had complete access to the Mac APIs, which they reverse engineered for Windows, making only the slightest cosmetic changes.

    Apple didn’t “pay off” Xerox to stop their lawsuit. The lawsuit never went to trial because Xerox filed too late. We’ll never know if their complaint had any merit.

    http://www.folklore.org/StoryView.py?project=Macintosh&story=On_Xerox,_Apple_and_Progress.txt

    http://www.folklore.org/StoryView.py?project=Macintosh&story=A_Rich_Neighbor_Named_Xerox.txt

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PARC_(company)#Adoption_by_Apple

  12. Brett,

    Again I commend you for being the voice of reason in my turgid sea of smoldering hate for the company which you hold dear. The argument about who stole what from who is quaint and smelly like a fine but detestable slice of limburg. Windows 7 will destroy OSX like the carbon copy of C64 GEOS that it is.

    Admit it! You feel the storm coming in your heart!

    -Chris

  13. Windows 7 will destroy OS X? Hah!

    Windows 7′s competition isn’t OS X, it’s Windows XP.

  14. Brett,

    If you had a penis you would probably suck it youself.

  15. If you had something intelligent to say regarding this topic, you probably would have.

  16. Thanks for making my point Brett. Elitist to the end… BTW, love the lastest quality reports on Apple displays… iFlicker; nice feature. Made in China (just like everything else)

  17. And BTW, sighting blogs and folklore sites as “fact” about the GUI’s history re: Apple, Microsoft, and Xerox just proves how far you will go to try and spin your bullshit into some assemblance of truth to which you base your pitiful alegence to you god, Apple. Apple and Microsoft both ripped of Xerox. I used to use a Xerox Star workstation at Xerox in Rochester and know first hand how both Microsoft and Apple implemented design ideas from Xerox’s implementation. But to say that Microsoft Windows is the result of a reverse engineering effort is just more sour grapes from an Apple fanboi appologist. Have you ever seen Windows 1.x? Not even close to the Mac UI! You can spin it all you want but at the end of the day common sense rules the day and your “facts” are just a bunch of fanboi nonsense. Remember it’s just a computer, stupid.

  18. BigHarryBalls,

    I can not begin to thank you for bringing some sense of reason here. Clearly, the Apple juggernaut must be stopped and hopefully people will start understanding that ITS JUST A FUCKING COMPUTER. Not a goddamn fashion accessory. One thing that always got me going was the comparison that “Apple is like a BMW and a PC is like a Chevy”. Where the fuck, and who the fuck, thought up that hot stream of diarrhea. Apple quality sucks shit. The only thing they do have going is a nice OS, but they wont allow you to ‘legally’ install it because if they actually gave people a choice, they’d be fucked.

    Apple will eventually cave in on itself, like all companies that are based on lies, filth, and the ass tonguing of the American media. Until then, I implore all reading this post to stop by your local Apple Store, and set every browser’s homepage to apple.cansuckmyballs.com!! I actually did that once, and sat outside drinking a coffee (not from Starbucks either, that foul rank tasting liquid manure hawkers that they are) while I laughed my ass off.

    Now that’s funny. Almost as funny as seeing Verizon’s new Droid cut into iPhone sales and it hasn’t even been out a month.

  19. @ BigHarryBalls

    “Have you ever seen Windows 1.x? Not even close to the Mac UI! ”

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_Microsoft_Windows
    http://inventors.about.com/od/mstartinventions/a/Windows.htm

    Windows 1.0 was not allowed to look like the Mac until Microsoft eventually found leverage (it may have been threat of not renewing the license to AppleSoft Basic in the Apple II’s ROM) to force Apple to cross-license certain aspects of the Mac UI. Apple had zero access to Xerox code while Microsoft (as a Mac developer) had access to Apple’s APIs. Windows wound up looking a whole lot like the Mac (a hell of a lot more than the Mac resembled a Xerox Star). It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to deduce who copied whom. If you have a reliable source contradicting this conclusion, please post it. Apple never claimed to invent the GUI. They only perfected the first commercially successful GUI– one that is still being copied to this day.

    “Apple will eventually cave in on itself, like all companies that are based on lies, filth, and the ass tonguing of the American media.”

    Maybe so, but this will be one of the few areas in which Microsoft will be leading the way.

  20. “Apple will eventually cave in on itself, like all companies that are based on lies, filth, and the ass tonguing of the American media.”

    Ah but Brett, the hegemonic mass that is Microsoft has far more resources and influence than Apple could ever dream of. Apple will fall first as not microsoft, but companies like Google start to make them irrelevant. Microsoft may take some hits, but they have too many irons in too many fires to fall completely by the wayside.

  21. I know you desperately want to see Apple fail. Perhaps someday they will, but right now they are growing ($34 Billion in the bank) and I think they are nowhere near a turning point.

    I see no indication that Google is a threat to Apple. It’s way too early to judge whether Android will significantly impact iPhone sales. If anything, I’d bet that Android steals market share from the other smart phones.

    Likewise, it’s too early to project how forthcoming Chrome OS devices will fare against whatever Apple has up its sleeve.