Apple Can Suck My Balls

Well well well, looks like the misbegotten child of the coffee industry (Starbucks) has teamed up with the white skinned corporate snake in the grass (Apple) to deliver a one-two punch of bad tasting coffee, shitty music, and a steaming serving of all-you-can-eat corporate bullshit to the apathetic iPhone toting masses. Wait. That’s a one-three punch isn’t it? Ah, whose counting – if you’re a mac user you don’t know how anyway!

SNAP!

Seriously folks, what is this world coming to? Just read this article:

Starbucks in Bed With Apple

You, know a good friend of mine who is a connoisseur of fine coffees has a bumper sticker like this:

And, while at first I didnt understand, after several attempts to get a decent cup of coffee at Starbucks I can totally see the point. That stuff is pure swill! I have had a better cup of coffee at a McDonald’s drive through, and paid half as much for it. I think you could develop film with the water they use to make that shit…seriously.

Here, my friends, is a startling coincidence. Starbucks promotes themselves as a haven of fine culture and exquisite brews, and yet when it comes down to the wire – they’re overpriced crap. Apple promotes themselves as a gift to the computer world from God himself (or herself, whateva) – and yet when it comes down to it they’re incapable, locked down underperforming pretty boxes with a hefty price tag.

It’s a match made in marketing heaven!! Friends, I beg…no, I emplore you to educate yourselves and stay clear of this demon union of greed and self gratification. Tell your friends and your families to stay well away from this cash sucking, life stealing collaboration forged in the fires of avarice (that means greed, Apple fans!) and obdurate deceit.

Friends, Don’t Let Friends Drink Starbucks…and by all means:

Oh yeah! That’s just a thumbnail folks! Click on that badboy and download to get the full, glorious bumper-sticker sized image. Print it out, share it with your friends. Spread the word: Apple, you suck ass. And you’re goin’ down!