Friday Haiku!

Apple, a vile stench
A rotted fruit? No, your Mac
Worthless fanboy slaves

Ah, the Haiku.  The simplest literary form, and yet there are so many rules! It never ceases to fascinate me.  The above Haiku, while I admit it is a truly brilliant quip, doesn’t really adhere to the traditional form other than its 5-7-5 syllabic structure.  But you know what?  I can do whatever the hell I want, because I wrote it.See, I dont think you Apple freaks could ever write freeform Haikus…your world is dictated to you by the blood sucking corporate weasels at Apple.  Making your decisions for you, telling you how your computer will run, what it will be built on, and then charging you double just because they know you’ll pay for it. 

You think you’re being cool and trendy and cosmopolitain by going agaisnt the universal awesomeness of Microsoft - but in reality you are catering to an even more restrictive dogma.  All your computers are the same, all their users share the same mentality – the same sense of false individuality - kind of like mold.

 Rotten Apple Hanging in the sun

9 Responses to “Friday Haiku!”

  1. Thats right hippies, mold! You are all mold! Muhahaha!

  2. RhinoHornAphrodisiac on September 15th, 2007 at 12:06 pm

    Jobs? no panjandrum!
    Macs better than your PC?
    Any day this week!

  3. Your argument, and your screenname, are torpid and invidious on so many levels. Maybe you should ‘Think Different’ , rather than buying into Apple’s socialistic propaganda – you cheeky meadow muffin.

  4. RhinoHornAphrodisiac on September 15th, 2007 at 5:47 pm

    Indeed, your sesquipedalian vocabulary ain’t no joke, but it, nor your name calling, obfuscate your poor arguments. Nobody doubts the fact that you pay a premium price for a machine that includes amazing build quality, outstanding support, an advanced operating system and a hip style. Certainly, some people use this as a status symbol — much like one might buy a BMW to get from point A to point B when you only need a Hyudai. BMW is generally known for being a good investment because of service and quality — I think of Macs in much the same way. A PC will let me get my work done, and does an exceptional job, but a Mac does the same stuff (generally better) with great support and high quality hardware.

  5. Interesting point, RHA. Even more interesting because its blatant inaccuracy is only matched by its exquisite fatuity.

    When did BMW start wrapping Hyundais with shiny white paint, sticking their emblem on the side and telling their customers it was an exclusive product? As a cognoscente of fine German automobiles myself, I can tell you with utmost certainty that your analogy is most grandiloquent in it’s absurdity.

    A BMW is a precison engineered piece of machinery, built from top of the line components and engineered through exacting standards. A true work of automotive art that when properly cared for will provide its driver with years of quality service.

    Conversely, an Apple computer is a hodgepodge of substandard components in a fancy box – 8x DVD writer? ATI HD2600? Notice they never show off the *inside* of their computers in their hip and trendy ads? For ~$1400, the performance of the new iMac is deplorable to say the least – you could do better buying a Presario at WalMart for god’s sake.

    Slap a glossy cover on your standard LCD display, include a better than average keyboard in the package and your average Apple fanboy zombie will think they’ve spent their money wisely because their initial contact with the machine eludes to quality that just isnt under the surface.

    All show and no substance. No apps, no games, average components, no upgradability – about the only special is the exorbitant price.

    As for your final insepid comment about mac performing ‘generally better’ – OSX actually runs slightly slower on the same hardware compared to Windows XP. Its the truth. Look up the benchmarks.

    Your argument is a fallacious mucous that sticks in the back of my throat like so much nasal drippage after a hard night of snorting Apple’s corporate bullshit. Apple sucks, Macs suck, the new Nano looks like shit…and you sir, can suck my balls.

  6. Too far, too nerdy — nerds.

  7. >Too far, too nerdy – nerds

    Words of a Mac user right there! Apple dork!

  8. Hey admin, whoops, I mean “XP4Eva”-
    Why aren’t your system specs posted up here? You claim to have a system comparable to a Mac at a fraction of the cost- boy would I like to see that.
    Knowing the typical Windows geek that I am certain you are, I am willing to bet you are 90lbs. soaking wet, if that! I’m surprised your mom lets you say the word “balls”, maybe she too is a Mac user? Perhaps she too, can or even does, suck your balls? :-)

  9. Hey SuckThis, whoops, I mean “Effeminate Cock Connoisseur” – why are you so uptight? Pull the new video enabled iPod nano out of your ass (unless…of course you like it up there) and relax!

    Weight, my mother’s sexual preferences, my OS of choice, and Apple’s dogmatic asthetic bullshit aside – facts are facts son. Apple computers are underperforming, overpriced machines with a pretty face and nonexistant software support. Computers for people who desperately want to feel special, people who lack the ability to think for themselves, people whose definition of a quality company means glossy plastic facades and a CEO with an L Ron Hubbard complex – people just like you!

    You want my system specs? Ill do ya one better – Ill actually show you how to build a system that will kick an iMac’s ass for hundreds less!

    Stay tuned for the next post, my little chimp ass raping, miniaturized teste stroking friend, you wont be disappointed!