Why is granola so fucking expensive?? I’ve asked myself this question time and again as I put that $6.00 box of toasted oats, nuts and dried berries back on the shelf, cursing under my breath.  Am I too cheap to buy a box of cereal? No.  Am I too smart to pay twice as much as something is worth…well yea kinda. 

Then I got to thinking, Apple freaks are probably buying up granola by the truckload.  What else are you dorks eating while you stand in line for days, waiting for your overpriced piece of crap iPhones and glorified MP3 players? Just look at this bullshit:

Fanboys en masse

It’s one of the most laughable sights of my generation – non-conformists nonconforming the point of conformity, embracing a corporation that sucks them dry with unessential consumer electronics products. Marry wristed roues flocking together like so much human cattle, snacking on granola and driving up the price of this nutritious treat for everyone else. Follow your corporate false idol over the edge of a touch sensitive cliff jacknuts, just choose a snack more fitting for your lemming brained, vacuous selves.

Leave my granola alone.

One Response to “Granola”

  1. Preach on brother. I had a non-conformist hippie on my ballsack last night, as a matter of fact. I slapped her in the face, took her granola, and then used the Mac for it’s true power~ watching brandibelle practice some squat thrusts.
    No wonder the Mac is white.